gorillaz - starshine

so then after i dropped liz of at work i read a book. and i got really really really bored reading that book. so i called tuey and i went to her house but it took her half an hour to get home, so i talked to her mom about their new kitchen. then she and brenda came home! and we sat around for a while before we went to al's music and i got almost famous, american beauty, gorillaz cd, and thursday cd. the clerk was really smart - he guessed right away that my abusive boyfriend pushes me down the stairs. then we went to denny's where we ate food, and talked about stupid things. it was much fun. then i went back to tuey's and took the tags off my stuff - brenda helped so that i would leave faster. so then i left. and now i'm at home where my parents still haven't gotten back and scott's out on a hot date. so i'm going to go back to my book now. bye!

jane's addiction - jane says

so yesterday i worked, and it was cool, because tosha was there and so was russ. but it was ungodly boring with nothing to do, plus it was a "big meet" so we couldn't just sit around. we spent the entire time wandering around, doing stupid shit that didn't even matter.
after work, though, i went to this girl andrea's house and we watched 8 mm, which is this really, really creepy film with nicholas cage. okay, the movie itself isn't so bad, but all that porn... it's sick. so we ate pizza and had italian sodas and i got home around 1:30.
last night i had endless dreams about running into everyone i knew at fred meyer.
i was woken up at 9 to drive my grandparents to olympia, which i did and even half-way enjoyed. my grandma told me a very short story of her life, in which she was 28 years old, going off to marry a guy, when her plane got delayed. she went to church with the pilot and dedicated her life to the lord, told the guy she was going to marry to shove-off, and went off to bible college. after that she met my grandpa and became a missionary. moral of this story? the lord protects but don't take what he offers for granted (yes, that's actually what she said). i would really like to have heard more about my grandma's life, but she doesn't go into details when my grandpa's in the car - supposedly she wasn't such a nice girl in her younger years, and he doesn't like hearing about it, or something like that.
so now i'm sitting around, i'll be going for another long-ass run with liz in about 10 minutes, but til then i need to find some chapstick.

autopilot off - missing the innocence

i got to babysit my kids today!! i woke up bright and early to go play with them, and i had a great time. we played with a bunch of balloons, at one point jj was running around with all fourteen of them wrapped around his body - he was like this giant, red-heart covered monster. it took me forever to unwind all the strings. later i gave jj piggy back rides and tossed isaac around in the air and into the cushions. man, i love kids, especially wrestling with them. isaac would attach himself to my stomach while i was on the floor and jj would try to knock me over. they also made me wear a blanket and dance around the room with them while we watched barney. isaac was such a sweety when i left... he'll be two in may, he stood by the front door and blew me a kiss and said, "buh-bye chelsea!"
they sold their house yesterday. they're moving to california in march. it breaks my heart, to know that they'll never even vaguely remember me.
i came home all tuckered-out and showed tuey how to shampoo my carpets, then vegged out with a book while she did that. heh, i felt like such a slavedriving bitch, i loved it! anyway, tuey was freaking out ten million times over every time she hurt herself or came across a clump of dog hair. i just laughed. right before she left we got out my yearbook and looked up a couple people, and while i won't put up any names, there were interesting reactions each time. "the one that looks like a man?"
after she left liz came over, we sat around and didn't do much, although while i was driving her to work we saw the stalker dude heading into safeway.
work, well. i worked. duh.
i was laying in bed reading when my mom came in and started poking around in all my stuff... she found the bathing suites i got and was asking when i got them, where i got them, how i paid for them... i lied and avoided direct answers and she dropped it. and once again i'm reminded of why i hate having family members in my room.
i didn't get to run today, since i had to wake up so early for babysitting. but tomorrow liz and i will do it, and then i get to clean the bathroom before i work all night. oh! that reminds me! it was still kinda twilight-ish when i left work today, actually at 6 for once, so you know what that means, right? summer's coming! it will be officially official, though, in may. folk life festival. ohhh yeah.

bush - synapse

wonderful. absolutely beautiful.
liz and i got up around 9 and ran, a lot further than i thought i could while sick, and a lot further than she realized i meant to go. when we got back to my house we drove the route - 4.5 miles. very impressive! we're doing it again tomorrow morning.
however, i do need new shoes if i'm going to keep this up. my shoes aren't mean to be running shoes - they're cross trainers, and they give no arch support. they're crap, seriously.
we took showers at our respective homes, then she came back and cut my hair. it's looks verry nice, honestly. she spent a lot of time making it look pretty, much more time than elaina and i dedicated to each others' hair two summers ago. it's hard to describe it to justice, especially since i probably spent a lot more time analyzing it than anyone else will. it's still layered, i made her leave that, but she cut the bottom ends short enough so the darker dyed underside is just a little longer than the lighter highlighted top layer... it's a very nice contrast.
anyway. shortly after tommy came, and we all went grocery shopping! major picnic-y things, like pudding and sandwich rolls and deli meat and crackers and yogurt and... very good things. after we had the little picnic around my kitchen island, we drove to auburn and watched butterfly effect. holy crap! that was an amazing movie, not at all how i expected it to go... at the very end liz and i looked at each other and laughed - we'd both been crying.
tommy dropped us off at my house after we drove home to a rousing group sing-along of blink's enema of the state. liz sat me down in the middle of my room and finally did the whole stringing thing to my eyebrows. major flashbacks to the days of jessika, back in fifth and sixth grade when we'd sit on each others' stomachs and tweeze each others' eyebrows. and actually, liz did straddle my stomach and do that... ha, it was hilarious! i lay there listening to bush and almost fell asleep, which is weird, considering she was ripping hairs out of my face. but it was such a powerful flashback... it was comforting to be reminded of the simpler days.
honestly, you know, today was one of those better days. liz and i just sat around and did random things, had random conversations and had random reactions to the goings-on around us. my dad tried instructing us on how to work the carpet steam cleaner, but he momentarily lost it, so we ran around my house calling for it and wondering out loud if it had wandered down the street... before that we sat all the way through intolerable cruelty, hoping it might get interesting eventually, but the only part we appreciated was when wheezing joe shot himself in the head. otherwise, it was a big disappointment.
so we've come to the conclusion that we both need to meet interesting, older, mature men who have a life of their own. someone who can live without us, but choose to be with us, so that it feels more like an opportunity to be with them and a part of their life, rather than an expectation that we'll make their world better.
well, that's just my opinion. can't really expect much, though, considering i'm sixteen and still in high school. which is why i'm so looking forward to getting out into the world.
i know i made a commitment to expand my tastes in literature. however, new books somehow can never compare to an old favorite. and (unfortunately?) for me, i actually have an old favorite series, which i also conveniently happen to have every book from. so. i know i won't be able to, but i feel like re-reading the pern series over break... i'm almost done with the very first book (timeline wise, not in order of when they were written). but as i've been reading, i keep getting images in my head of parts from other books, which is essentially why i want to re-read the whole darn series. which i don't have time for. so... well there's not much point to saying all this. except that i really want to sit down and read them all again. i doubt you understand this feeling, though... from all the people i've met, not a single one of them has this obsession with books that drives me absolutely nuts. you have no idea. i get such weird looks at work when i read... that one day when i picked up one of the lost and found books was bad enough, but when i brought anna karenina? yeah, anyway. enough of this. i like reading, thanks, it's just become some sort of sick, hidden pleasure after all the other book-bashing opinions i've had thrown at me from everyone else.
skal!

May you...
Work like you don't need the money,
love like you've never been hurt,
dance like no-one is watching,
screw like it's being filmed,
and drink like a true Irishman.

When we drink, we get drunk.
When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
So, let's all get drunk, and go to heaven!
--Old Irish toast

Here's to a long life and a merry one.
A quick death and an easy one.
A pretty girl and an honest one.
A cold beer-and another one!
--Old Irish toast

greenday - f.o.d.

oh, today today today... what a waste of a day... nothing especially bad, but all the stuff that was supposed to be good just turned mediocre.
waking up was a bitch again. i took forever to get up, get dressed... whenever i get sick i lose all my ambitions. no way did i go running. no way did i even remember to take my pills. i barely remembered the whole brushing teeth thing, let alone to clean the kitchen.
eventually i called steph... and i was supposed to go to her house but i got caught up reading my journal (no, not this one, the pen and paper one that i keep). half an hour later she called me back and i went over, we sat around then went cd shopping and then went to target. eventually we made it to brandon's and i fell asleep on his couch... and i was really really messed up from the cold medicine but i went to work anyway, which dragged on.. forever. i talked to nate for a while though, and pretty much sat around and didn't do much, just took it easy. but see, after work i was supposed to go swimming with tuey and tosha... both of them bailed on me, and i was sad. i told russ and he said he'd swim with me, so that at least made me feel better. so i did swim with him, but oh, like doing laps is really exciting, you know? so i did lots of laps and wore myself out, and then after it all i laughed at bryce and russ squeegee'ing the girl's locker room. then i came home. and here i am. ohh, what a boring, lame-ass day today was. this is supposed to be break. that means it's supposed to be a break from the usual drudgery of life. it's not supposed to feel the same as every other day of the year!
i'm sorry to say this again. but now, more than ever, it feels especially true. i need new people in my life. i need to meet people who have variety in their life, who can be spontaneous or predictable, but still at least mildly interesting.
well, maybe tomorrow will be better. i don't work, and tommy and i are going to go grocery shopping. !! actually, just saying that puts me in a better mood! yes, tomorrow will be okay. i know it will.

everclear - the twistinside

when i got home yesterday, i felt pretty shitty. scott came into my room and was talking to me about all sorts of different things... i was tired and couldn't really keep track of it all. he invited me out for coffee - we went to starbucks and sat around and talked for a while, and meanwhile my bad mood just got worse. this has been a real off-and-on thing for me since school started, and it's still as hard to deal with as it was in the beginning. nothing that i used to love is very interesting anymore, but i don't know why. i feel out of place, but i have no idea where i'd belong. i know i need a change, but i don't know what kind.
and sure, there are tons of things i could do. take classes, get involved in something new. i just don't have that kind of ambition. it's hard enough to wake up and get out of bed in the mornings. well, scott did give me a lot of ideas.. and if i can clear my head of this fogginess and get something done, i'll look into it.
for now, though, i really should get up and take a shower. oh, and i was right. i am getting sick. i barely slept at all last night... it sucked.

blind melon - no rain

when i woke up this morning i honestly didn't expect anything interesting to happen. it took me several hours to get up off my ass, get out of bed, and go running. after that i actually had some energy - i cleaned the shower, then got clean myself and made myself look all nice. i was just sitting down with my parents to watch intolerable cruelty, when the phone rings - nate. he asked me to go see a movie with him. so i did.
and i have to tell you, i had a great time. nate's awesome! we got along great, have lots of similarities and all that.. but it didn't feel right. i knew from the start nothing would happen. so i felt really uncomfortable when we're back at his house watching tv and he puts his arm around me, starts holding my hand and all that... yeah, it was nice to sit with someone, but not when i knew i didn't really want it to happen. so i felt pretty bad when he dropped me off and i had to tell him i wasn't really interested... i don't have much experience with the whole dating thing, it was surprisingly easy so now i'm wondering if i handled it wrong.
i've got yet another headache. the upper back of my throat (almost inside my sinuses, i guess?) feels a little dry whenever i swallow, so i wonder if i'm coming down with something?