grrr...
i had a huge long thoughtful post about cars and motorcycles. then my computer turned on me and lost it. so. no long cool post about cars and motorcycles. but! i got my permit today! and i drove, too! which was scary. and it convinced me that i want a motorcycle.
yesterday was fun. today sucks. but in that, "i didn't do anything and everyone else did and oh my life is so boring" kind of way.
even though that's not true. i'm going out to dinner w/ a few friends in a little bit. if i can get a ride, ugh, it looks like maybe i can't and my life does suck after all. yep, there we go, it fell through and i get to spend another saturday at home on my ass.
what a waste of a day.
well, i did see a movie. the four feathers. and i was recovering from last night mostly, so i guess it's okay. maybe. oh well.

okay, so maybe taking a nap wasn't such a good idea. now i can't get back to sleep!!!

nice.
i've been so exhausted all week. i can barely stay awake, even when i'm trying to talk to other people. today when i got home from driver's ed, it was really bad. i crashed. i slept from 6-11:15! and i gotta tell you, it was one of the smartest things i've done in a long, long time.
oh and guess what! i found 10 dollars on the ground today! how cool is that?
other than that, though, my day's been pretty uneventful. probably 'cause i slept through it, but who knows?

i think i mentioned it before... that the point of having this, for me, is to take risks, put up personal stuff and realize that, yes, someone i talk to tomorrow will have read it.
stephanie's bugged me about it before. it's her pride and joy - that she was the one who pulled me out of my shell. and she was! one of the many reasons why i love her so much. but, as much as i can try to ignore that insecure, shy little girl in there (i hate her, btw), she still shoves her head out sometimes. that's right, i'm insecure. ... it sucks.
anyway, what does this all mean? it means, that just like every other kid out there, i just want to be loved. i look up to the people around me, and i want to be accepted by the people i like.
so, you can't really blame me for being excited. i mean, come on, this is my chance. in a couple weeks i'm going to be carted around by people i adore - sam and kristin. 3 weeks, having to go do silly tourist things, wandering around pike place market, overnighters... it's... well honestly, it's what i've been wanting all year. to feel like i'm a part of something. that i might be missed if i don't show up.
ah, hell, just forget it. i'm not making any sense. these are just my little things that make my day better - believe me, there are tons, but actually putting them up here? ... that's too scary for words. it'd be like... admitting to people just how much they mean to me. call me stupid, paranoid, whatever. but just thinking about it makes me hestitate, feel a little vulnerable... it's that damn sheltered girl in there. it's her fault. make her go away...

'allo!
oooh, it rained a ton today. it was beautiful. i feel torn, trying to figure out if today's fun story was good or bad.
sam drove me home! i was about halfway home, maybe less, totally soaked, w/ my headphones blasting and getting into my walking groove. and sam pulled up in front of me and got me home before 4;30.
now, i'm really really happy he did. seriously. but i was finally looking forward to walking 2 miles after driver's ed! c'mon sam, work with me, that was supposed to be my alone-time!
nah, i don't care that much. anyway, after driver's ed, i cleaned up the kitchen 'n took off over to michael's. we watched the ring at andrew's - and y'know, it doesn't scare me anymore. it's just stupid.
thank god!

awww, so today was my dad's birthday. 51, i think. pretty sure.
i woke up this morning with my mom screaming "chelsea! get up, throw some jeans on and go!!" see, they decided a few days ago that my birthday present will be them paying for driver's ed. (btw, my birthday isn't until the end of may). so she called the place in the mall to sign me up for driver's ed, there was one spot left, and brent and i, being normal teenagers, were sleeping in and didn't hear the phone ringing - repeatedly. so she rushed home from work on her lunch break to yell at us.
and that's how i found myself walking through the mall, dazed, in yesterday's clothes and bed-hair and having no clue how i looked, seeing as i didn't have time to even glance in the mirror. needless to say, i was in and out like lightning, and got signed up (woo!).
so later, around 3;30, brent drove me back to the mall to get the receipt and information. he wanted out fast, so he was going to give me $5 to ignore anyone i ran into, or to tell them to piss off. i was all for it - sadly, i didn't run into anyone. oh well.
so then, we took a trip to party city! yeah! i love that place! we got some balloons and a banner and a little party hat for my dad. nothing too extravagant, since we went all out last year for his 50th.
now, let me say this. balloons are evil. they were attacking me the whole car ride home, and then they refused to get out of the car. then they attacked me again. needless to say, i had to yell at them a little before they behaved (and of course, brent teased me for this).
now, cute story, we spent a lot of time arranging my dad's 'happy birthday' banner. we hung it sideways (vertically?) from the railing at the top of the stairs, and left it that way.
anyway, i got to make dinner, a nice yummy curry that i mostly let my mom do when she got home. i can cook, sure, but i'm lazy. i wanted to sleep.
so here i am, at 8;02, realizing i haven't done much at all of my homework and wanting to do nothing except sleep. oh well, i think tomorrow's 2-4-6, so i should be okay.

saw how to lose a guy in 10 days with my mom, went grocery shopping, then to michael's.
not a too busy day, but still fun.
i like doing things with my mom. i don't know if she has a whole lot of fun with me, but i do. it's nice having at least one person in my family that will actually go out in public with me.
learned an interesting story today. my grandma i guess was an absolute, drop-dead, knock-out gorgeous woman when she was younger. beautiful. so were her two sisters, who's names i don't remember. but, her last sister, margaret, was hideous. but there's a good reason. her dad (my great-grandfather) contracted syphilis after the first three girls were born. (aka he cheated on his wife, the dirty bastard). he gave it to his wife, and the baby margaret got it too when she was conceived. so... do you know what kids affected by syphilis look like? they get lumps and disfigured faces and all sorts of things. poor margaret... i've never seen a picture of her, but what a horrible way to be born. fortunately her mind was fine, but still...
sad story. and completely unexpected. see, my grandma and grandpa are missionaries. i always figured they came from perfect christian lives. guess not, huh?
oh well, doesn't really matter much. it's just something interesting to find out.

hey, you know, i'm really liking this.
today i went out and saw chicago with my parents. it's a really good movie - better than the live performance, because everything's a lot clearer, but there were also a few things missing that disappointed me a little. that's okay though, it was still really good. i loved it, though i know my parents didn't like it too much. phooey on them.
went bowling with michael and his family, too. like, extended family. aunts, uncles, cousins, everything. and you know? it wasn't too bad. we bowled, we goofed around, it wasn't embarassing or nerve-wracking or anything like that. it was just... fun. michael's got some really cool relatives, whether he realizes it or not. i honest-to-god had a great time with him tonight, and it really sucked that it ended so soon.
however, i didn't get much of a chance to think about it. josh was havin a lot of people over, so i took off a few minutes after getting home and went to his house. it was pretty much all who i expected - josh, evan, aaron, derek, steph mo, julie, leandra, me (allison and brittany left right when i got there). we talked, listened to music, evan 'n i munched on our own bags of doritos. it was just.. calm, relaxing, and really nice to be there.
of course, they'd all watched the ring, so they got to talking about it right before i had to leave. it freaked me out. i kept having flashbacks to when i saw it in the theater. now, the theater is SO much worse than tv, so it was really -really- creepy for me. and, unlike them, i can't drive, and didn't have a ride. so aaron, being the nicest person ever to walk the face of this earth, offered to drive next to me while i walked home (since, after all, he is a law-abiding citizen and doesn't drive other people in his car). i love him so much for it.
so, basically, i have had more than just a good day. i have had an excellent, super, fantastic day that really couldn't have been a whole lot better.