don't let the smell stop you

Saturday, September 27, 2003

alkaline trio - radio

day started out great... i got my license! passed with a 98, too, so i'm pretty proud of that. only thing is, when i'm actually driving, i'm really not that good. really. not. oh baby, you should see how well i park! more about that in a second...
but yeah, because of last night, i had to go to bellingham with my parents. it wasn't bad seeing brent again. and the campus is gorgeous. but being with my parents for that long... i was ready to go insane. it seemed like they were doing everything possible to delay getting home. when we were leaving bellingham, they drove north to belles fair mall (i think that's what it's called?) to go shopping. my mom bought a bunch of shit she could've gotten from southcenter, and i wandered aimlessly for an hour talking to tuey and jeff on the phone.
when we finally got home, i tried calling tuey, but no luck, she'd dropped off the face of the earth. so i called up jeff and went and saw him instead. and... this is the funny part... when i tried parking, i did a really stupid thing and scratched up the side of the car (against a post, though, the cars were okay!) so we spent i dunno, 10 minutes trying to clean off the paint. i'm not going to tell my parents about it and hopefully, since it's not too noticeable, by the time they do see it, i can pretend i never noticed and don't know how it happened.
so yeah. i was kinda scared for the car after that, so we walked around federal way the rest of the night. went to the dollar store (they're out of handcuffs but they'll be getting more in two weeks), safeway (maxim magazine baby!), and saghalie (for the kkk convention). i left at 9 and got home around 9:10 (i took the looong way home). parents didn't really care, and now i'm sleepy but i should probably work on homework at least a little bit before i go to bed.

Friday, September 26, 2003

divit - dressing room

well fuck! fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck. no, actually, it's not as bad as it sounds. it's just irritating.
i broke the rule today... left the door shut with only one guy in the room. soon as my dad found out? well, basically, if i get my license tomorrow, i get to drive them up to bellingham tomorrow. if not? i get to ride with them up to bellingham tomorrow. it's a pain in the ass and i'm not happy about it at all. and i'm not even sure if i can say it was worth it this time. i mean, with all the other things i've gotten in trouble for, it was pretty common for me to be not trusted for something, so i didn't really care... but lately things have been going pretty well, my parents and i get along okay, nothing bad has been happening... and now this. back to the way it was back then, where i can't get away with shit. just because we left the fucking door closed.
it probably doesn't help that my dad was in a pissy mood all day, either. why did it have to be today??
other than that, liz was over here for a long while, i was delirious 'cause i was so tired, and i dunno what was up with her. but we've got a new phrase: "up the butt, what?"

Thursday, September 25, 2003

green day - macy's day parade

oh, hello... i think i'm doing something wrong at work, but i'm not sure. i was done an hour and a half after i got there. so either i didn't do something the way i was supposed to, or there really just wasn't that much to do... oh well, i stuck around for another hour, then left 30 minutes early again.
i'm so exhausted... it's mostly just from the weight training, though. physical exhaustion, and all that.

Wednesday, September 24, 2003

mars volta

oh, today was wonderful! i don't feel like going into details right now though, i need to do homework. just, i spent the day with jeff and scott was home when we got back, and so it's all really nifty.

Tuesday, September 23, 2003

hot water music - trusty chords

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

Like I explained, most nights before they ran me to bed they gave me this pill, knocked me out and kept me out. Or if something went haywire in the dose and I woke up, my eyes were all crusted over and the dorm was full of smoke, wires in the wall loaded to the limit, twisting and sparking death and hate in the air - all too much for me to take so I’d ram my head under the pillow and try to get back to sleep. Every time I peeked back out there would be the smell of burning hair and a sound like sidemeat on a hot griddle.
But this one night, a few nights after the big meeting, I woke up and the dorm was clean and silent; except for the soft breathing of the men and the stuff rattling around loose under the brittle ribs of the two old Vegetables, it was dead quiet. A window was up, and the air in the dorm was clear and has a taste to it made me feel kind of giddy and drunk, gave me this sudden yearn to get up out of bed and do something.
I slid from between the sheets and walked barefoot across the cold tile between the beds. I felt the tile with my feet and wondered how many times, how many thousand times, had I run a mop over this same time floor and never felt it at all. That mopping seemed like a dream to me, like I couldn’t exactly believe all those years of it had really happened. Only that cold linoleum under my feet was real right then, only that moment.
I walked among the guys heaped in long white rows like snowbanks, careful not to bump into somebody, till I came to the wall with the windows. I walked down the windows to one where the shade popped softly in and out with the breeze, and I pressed my forehead up against the mesh. The wire was cold and sharp, and I rolled my head against it from side to side to feel it with my cheeks, and I smelled the breeze. It’s fall coming, I thought, I can smell that sour-molasses smell of silage, clanging the air like a bell - smell somebody’s been burning oak leaves, left them to smolder overnight because they’re too green.
It’s fall coming, I kept thinking, fall coming; just like that was the strangest thing ever happened. Fall. Right outside here it was spring a while back, then it was summer, and now it’s fall - that’s sure a curious idea.

eagles - hotel california

today, school was school. hard work and not too fun, with the exception of the moments i got to see jeff. took the bus with brandon, walked to work, got a ride home from alan('s mom).
after everything was done and over with, i think the best feeling i've had today was when i got home and made one of my tobasco sandwiches.

Monday, September 22, 2003

third eye blind - motorcycle drive by

haha! i told you so! soon as i get my license, dad starts teaching me the stick, and the honda's mine! he wants an all-wheel drive again, like the blazer or something. so bye-bye, my pretty li'l buick, hello honda! okay, truth is, honda's pretty damn uncomfortable and i'm gonna hate it to death, but it's a fast li'l car with good gas mileage (which i'm gonna need if my parents make me pay for gas after all), and it's kinda cute. in a rice rocket sort of way.

third eye blind - losing a whole year

so today, school was pretty lame, highlight being anatomy with franny and donovan. franny took her tigger and made it bondage tigger! with millions of safety pins in his ears and along his mouth, oh man, i never believed a stuffed animal could look sexy before. studded bracelets and everything.
donovan drove me home, first thing i did was call up tuey 'cause i was bored. after a while (4:00, 4:15 i think?) she came by and we stood around for a little bit before we took off to wendy's. got some food stuffs and she filled out an application. that would be so awesome if she worked at wendy's! can you imagine? food, cheaper than the dollar menue! anyway, we drove around in her car for a while, not sure what to do. her rx7 is soooo nice! we were just cruising down the road listening to the slc punk soundtrack, windows down and just enjoying the ride... it was great, absolutely gorgeous, and i just know we're going to be doing that a lot more this winter. screw it if we're cold. there's nothing like fresh air flowing through the car. my buick won't be the same as her little red beater, but we'll manage.
a little bit later we decided to go hunt down jeff's apartment. it's been bugging me lately, that i can't see it. hell, it's an apartment, not like i've never seen one before! what, he thinks i'm going to dump him 'cause his apartment smells like cat litter? but yeah, we drove around in campus grove for a while, trying to find it, no luck. we did see a mexican family, though! the parents in the front, with the grandpa in the middle, and all the kids piled in the back. it was hilarious! so yeah we had lots of fun, even though we were having no luck, just cruising to the music. we tried the information center but that was no help, tried jeff but his cell was off, called his house and he was sleeping. as soon as i hung up steph was like, "hey, hellooo, his sister hates him right? ask her, she'll tell you 'cause it'll piss him off!" so we called back and she gave me the apartment number and we got kinda lost again... and then when we finally found it we were like, shit, we already saw this! 'cause it stands out, with all the colorful stuff and the satellite dish and everything. but yeah. neither of us noticed jeff standing on the other side of the road, by steph, until he shouted or something and scared the shit out of both of us. we were both like, "did you see him? nooo, did you?" but yeah. he wasn't too happy. his sister woke up him and told him, warning, chelsea's gonna show up in about 10 seconds. so, that kind of ruined it a little bit, but it was still fun (for me!) we tried getting into the apartment, saw just a little bit of it, but no luck, he picked me up and took me out... it was really frustrating. but it was still kinda cool 'cause i did get to see him, and it's been a couple days. so i guess it was worth it, though i doubt he thinks so.
so now i'm listening to third eye blind and i was doing homework, i'll get back to that 'soon as i finish with this. my dad got another computer... so now we have 5 computers, and only 3 people to use them. crazy shit.
oh, and yesterday! around 4, 4:30, brandon came and picked me up and we drove around trying to find a liquor store, but hello, sunday, no liquor stores are open! so terry bought us a case of smirnoff and we went back to brandon's, tuey met us there, and we went back into the woods to drink. i drank maybe 2 and a half bottles... pretty sad... and then i started feeling full, almost sick, and remembering what happened last time, i stopped. besides, it was starting to taste pretty nasty. so yeah, tommy came and he wasn't drinking, but i was having this argument with him about the right way to say flummoxed. it was weird, actually, that when i got a little buzzed, i got smarter. but it was funny too. so me, tuey, and brandon were all sitting in her car looking at it when alex called, and he was right behind us... so off i went to the concert!
i was completely sober by the time we got to seattle, and the concert was amazing! pistol grip was absolutely gorgeous, reminded me of the briggs although not as good, i'm dying to see the briggs up here... but yeah, asg sucked ass, really boring and they all looked like triplets, no shirts, long greasy blonde hair and hats. i was like, hello, three hicks think they can be in a band? no. but yeah. guttermouth! eeeee! (doing the little hand thing) those guys kicked serious ass! i was scared shitless of the moshpit, people were going nuts down there, it was murder! and the leader singer was amazing! just the way he connected with the crowd, leaning over so the crowd was holding him up while he sang. pulled people out of crowd surfing and onto the stage so they could sing with him. it's really hard to describe the atmosphere, but i was grinning like the cheshire cat the whole time, just wishing that tuey and jeff could've been there. they would've loved it! tuey because, well, she understands. she just knows, about everything. and jeff, because he'd appreciate the energy in the place, the craziness and the adrenaline rush. and 'cause i missed him, but yeah.
got me the pistol grip cd! loving it to death. also got lots of free stickers! um, so yes, that was it, got home around 11 and just, happy happy days.

Sunday, September 21, 2003

red hot chili peppers - californication

ohhh what to say? today brent left. he's gone now. and he won't be coming home ever again. oh, sure, he'll visit and all... but this isn't his home. it's mine, and my parents', but not his. it's just... weird. but yeah, my mom decided to stay home, so everything i was hoping to do today is kinda... off. no driving the car. no jeff. instead i get to sit around and clean and write an essay and wait until the concert.
last night, brent, scott, and i all went to see underworld (don't waste your money, it's horrible). but there was this one moment, while we were walking around the theater, i don't even know how it got started. but we started bumping into each other and shoving each other around in the hall. and, well, it was just fun. it's cool to think that the three of us can go out and do something together, and enjoy ourselves, by our own free will. we've got a good thing going. i like my family.