desaparecidos - give me the pen

"were you biting me?"
"... no"
a fruit snack flies over my head and hits the window
"no!"
as i run out of the kitchen, a gummy strawberry hits my back.

pearl jam - soon forget

i sit here with a cigarette between my lips, with no intention of smoking it. it's simply a result of a good conversation with scott. go figure. we get along, he gives me a cigarette.
it started out with me trying to sell him the cd i bought for elaina's birthday, climaxed when he gave me naked lunch, and wore off when i refused to give him the zippo i stole from a bowling alley last year.
i think we're making progress.
the first thing my mom did when she found out tuey wasn't going with me this weekend was, predictably, say that i couldn't go. she thought i was hiding something from her, like maybe this weekend would be a chance for me to have a tryst with my lover. later she called me from her home group to say she changed her mind, i can go, just call her regularly. and if i can find my cell phone charger, i will.
i found the got milk? magnet in the washing machine, one flew over the cuckoo's nest and my $15 spencer's card in brent's room, and peabody's starting to figure out how the doggy door works. he's a slow learner, that one, but he's getting there.
i was looking for something, but i couldn't find it.

foo fighters - up in arms

today, i skinned a pig.
seriously. we took the scissors, cut a slit from the chin to tail, then used a blunt object to rip all the skin away from the muscles. and let me tell you, once you've taken the skin off something, it gets really slimey. i'm looking forward to working on killer some more on friday.
other than that, today was beautiful. i was walking over to michelle's, and i wish i'd taken a picture. all the cherry trees are in full pale-pink bloom, and the sky was filled with dark, rain-filled clouds. the air felt warm, like the sun had been shining all day. the houses seemed to be reflecting the sun that wasn't there, and the overall effect was.. beautiful. living in a hole like i do, it was even more impressive because the entire skyline was bordered with trees.
my mother wants brent to come with me to elaina's. umm.. my aunt doesn't exactly have enough room to house 3 extra kids, thanks. plus i just don't want him to go, even if it ends up being just me.

alkaline trio - blue in the face

"you know, when i looked over at him, he was standing right below us and was looking up at us." she says this in a very hint-hint, nudge-nudge voice.
"very cool."
she stamps her foot. "argh! i don't know why i even bother telling you if you're not going to get all excited about it."
grin. "no, it's cool."
"a smile! that is not excitement! smiling is not showing excitement!"
and that's about the gist of what work was like today.
school was boring, tuey puked in auto shop so i was all alone in weight training. but you know, it wasn't so bad. it was boring but i worked out pretty hard, and when we ran i ran my ass off. i did good.
if i crack and flip out this weekend, just remember: it's tuey's mom's fault! nah, i guess if tuey can't go, i'll just go by myself before it's too late for the parents to stop me.
i'm getting sick. this makes me angry. first, there was only a two week period between. and now! grr. it's that annoying nose-thing where there's drippy snot in the back of your throat, but you can't get a loogie out or blow your nose. you just get this liquid burning away at your sinuses.
we got this doggy door for peabody. it scares the crap out of him. i sat inside with a peace of bread for 15 minutes, trying to get him to come inside through the door, but he just won't do it. retard dog. at this rate, he'll come inside but he'll be too dumb to figure out we got it so he could go outside to pee in the mornings. that or garet's annoying cat will figure it out before him, and i'll wake up to licorice in the kitchen.

dispatch - the general

go now. look at the pretty website with the pretty new pictures. i'll even give you the url, since you're too lazy to click on "my site" up there.

http://groups.msn.com/skababy

jimmy eat world - blister

i forgot. i love this song. let me turn it up for you.
tosha and i went shopping among the lost and found today, i got a sweatshirt and two t-shirts, and had to beat her over the head to get the shorts we both wanted.
came home just as tuey was leaving, we sat in her car and listened to her newly-fixed speakers and talked about shit and looked at my pictures and eventually went to wendy's for dinner, where we ate food.
when the world caves in, what you gonna do?
i keep trying to actually get things done, but it just doesn't happen. i was going to do laundry tonight - nope. i was going to do homework - well, the book's out, i'm just not reading it. oh well.
i'm really looking forward to this weekend. =) sorry for the smiley, but he just fits my mood. life is going to be more bearable, you'll see. it really sucks sometimes, especially when i'm by myself, but this weekend should be exciting and eventful and definitely better than staying here.

eels - my beloved monster

friday night as i was passing out, the very beginning of that song started playing in my head. i couldn't figure out what it was called, only that it was in shrek, so i miserably pulled myself awake and wrote blindly onto a piece of paper "shrek sountrack."
things like this tend to happen a lot. lists and receipts and scraps of paper are scattered all over my room, all with random notes on them that i can barely figure out when i see them later.
yesterday was absolutely beautiful. i spent a few hours with brent at celebration park, but it felt like an entire week passed while we were there. it was an adventure, a story unfolding, with its high points and low points, moments of laughter and sorrow. the beauty of it all made me want to cry. i actually did a one point, while i was sitting on a stone bench looking at the pavement. the colors were bleeding together and flowing toward me in a river. off to the left were the trees and the sunset and the shadows, pure nature. to the right were neatly cut lawns and clean cement paths - nature, sterilized.
later i sat with terry at chase's house, and the ugliness of it all was a huge contrast. terry's bone-thin wrist, every vein in his arms and hands sticking out of his pale white skin. the fat friend, sitting on the couch with her puppy talking to it like a real baby, slapping it's stomach, her laughter grating in my head. i'd never been more relieved than when we left, and i sat in my car listening to some kind of italian opera on the radio for a while.
today isn't anything. my head is throbbing, i feel sick eating and drinking, and i can't focus enough to do any work. brent's been in my room all day playing final fantasy x, while i've been alternately downloading music and laying in bed, wishing i could sleep.
i found a blog online, the stories of a call girl. supposedly it's all a hoax, written by an english song writer who claims to have nothing to do with it. i don't really care whether it's true or not - the style of writing is addictive. it makes me want to experiment with my own writing, my own style of blogging. but my head hurts too much, and i have a built-in complex where i can't try something new, for fear it won't turn out as good as i'd want it to.
anyway, belle du jour, http://belledejour-uk.blogspot.com/
and for shits and giggles, http://www.milmillington.com/