deep sleep - love is like a rainbow

yayy so i totally called today being extremely awesome. and i was right.
so i took a nap after the car accident. had to sleep off the nerves and everything. it felt fantastic.
then i went to work and talked to jamie! she's going to wsu in august.. and until then she's doing all sorts of stuff with the dolphins down in florida. and harrison's leaving at the end of february.
you don't realize how hard it is for me to do this right now. i'm all jittery and unable to focus. too much coffee. as usual.
so umm.. okay work. rob was totally hitting on this girl doing laps, so much that he took off his shirt and got in the water and swam with her. he showed her how to stroke it (butterfly style). it was hot.
after work. called liz and i went to her house, and her mom talked to me about an antisocial girl who refused to answer the phone at her business. then we went to.. robert's? house, and there were all these gorgeous emo people sitting packed in the same room. i took one look and panicked. too many beautiful people in one place - i had to leave. so i said a tearful goodbye to ellie and went over to lindsey's, where the beautiful people are more typical preps, which i can deal with. so we played soccer! with these giant exercise balls. girls vs. boys. i was running around in these awesome snow boots and mittens, and lindsey kept falling on her butt and was soaked. exhilirating. that's the word for it. running around in someone's giant backyard in the chilly winter night with mittens, while body slamming boys so i can kick a giant rubber ball across the lawn.
then everyone calmed down and started watching billy madison. awesomely funny movie, but i haven't been able to sit still all day, and i missed my new friends. so i called pat and asked him to go to denny's. and he said yes. so i got there and just as i'd hoped! everyone had come. pat, devon, kenny, dj, louis, and even phil! even if nothing developes with devon, i hope i can spend every minute of every day with these guys. they're the best, really.
when i was little, i did the whole "hold your breath and make a wish" thing going through a tunnel. you know, from tiny toon's summer vacation? i still do it, hoping it will work. the same goes for wishing on stars. so when i used to think life only happened in long beach, i'd go through every tunnel and wish on every star that "i could find friends like the people i know from long beach." how's this for sentimental? i think these guys are my wish.
ookay, so enough coffee for chelsea, i'm putting stuff up here that'll totally make people uncomfortable to read about. i can just imagine tuey laughing at me for even saying it. but it's okay. i can deal. being brutally honest is my way of making up for a whole childhood spent lying about everything.
so. at denny's. we were there forever, 2 hours or so. just sitting, talking, drinking water and sodas, harassing the waiters. ellie and dani came later, which was fantastic. i don't know. we just shared stories and flicked straws and.. had a good time.
so 1 comes around, we finally leave. dani and i bought chocolate chips from QFC while liz sat in the car. the cashier had a knife. we thought it was to protect himself from late night shoppers, but really, it's just 'cause he opens boxes a lot. how boring.
dani's amazing. i'm totally jealous of her and ellie being best friends. she's gorgeous, and if anyone remembers my geeky stories from 7th grade.. dani was totally the name of the person i wanted to be. so it's just this creepy coincidence that makes me adore her like crazy. anyway, i took her home and snuck liz into my house.
so then we sat and talked to brent. and he's going to get a girl to knit me a scarf for christmas. and he's going to give me his hobo sweater. life is good.
it's crazy, though. these last two weeks everything has changed. i'm walking around with this kick ass attitude, and i'm not scared of anything (well, okay, as long as i'm not around any girls i don't know. that makes me self conscious.) but i redid my room, i'm taking stuff down and rearranging, i'm redoing my wardrobe. i'm going to cut my hair (again) and dye it (again). william gave me this one idea for making new clothes, so now i'm going to relearn how to use a sewing machine and try to make beautiful new things out of my old rags. i'm trying to get a job at a bookstore. oh god, i'd die if i could work in a bookstore. i'm collecting jazz and oldstyle music where the voices of the singers make you want to cry. i feel incredible.

jack johnson - on and on

i like having a play-by-play of my life. it helps me remember what i've done... i don't want to forget.
it's 3:30 in the afternoon. trust me, today is not done yet. however, it's been good enough so far that i have to write it down.

fender bender number three! keep 'em coming, baby!

so here's how it goes: wake up call at 9 from ellie, because i wanted her to. except i'd been having this fantastic dream about the boy of my dreams (makes sense, huh?) and i felt really really good. he was sweet and outgoing and had brown hair and blue eyes. oh baby. anyway, so i woke up, but my bed was a cocoon of warmth because i'd left my window open all night. it felt good.
so i put on some slippers, brushed my teeth and over to ellie's! it was really cool while i was driving over there. i was still sleepy, too lazy to wear my seatbelt or defog the windows. so i just let the car kinda drift through the neighborhood. i didn't stop at any stop signs because i had my slippered feet tucked under me to keep them warm. so i rolled into her driveway and parked and ran inside where it was warmer.
i love her, by the way. this morning was the way i want to start every day. we gave ourselves a spa facial, but the mud mask is supposed to sit for a while, so... we left it on, put on some patsy kline (i think? it was some old classic singer with this gorgeous voice singing about men who break women's hearts and how much she loves them anyway.) and we made spritz cookies! we drank chai teas and watched her short asian neighbor disappear behind the fence. i tried on her new boots, which kick so much ass that i think i'm going to steal them. i put her goodwill skirt up around my boobs and it looked fantastic! so we're going to sew it up a little bit and make it into a strapless dress that i can wear to folklife.
anyway.. it was just this beautiful morning. we're walking around with green faces in our pajamas, we stank like you wouldn't believe, this beautiful voice crooning to us about love.. such a girly thing to do. it's gotten me into this indestructable mood. i'm invincible! nothing can take this feeling down.
so i went home and took a shower. then i grabbed liz again and we went all out jean shopping at old navy and american eagle... except i only bought one pair. which is cool. and i got new gloves! plus some other random items from the mall. and we saw john working at aunty anne's and got invited to a get-together this evening.
and then! as i'm going to drop liz off at safeway so she can work, BAMS! i get rear-ended by some crazy old woman, and there's a four-car pile up because she was going so damn fast. ellie's got whiplash, i've got a headache, we're all stopped in the middle of 320th at a red light. so i jump out and tell them all to meet at the safeway parking lot (no one was damaged all that bad.) and we stood around exchanging information while we waited for the cop to come.
by the way, julian pissed me off. he was the last car to get hit, had almost no damage at all, and clearly wanted to leave. i asked him to call 411 on his cell phone to get the police over there (one of the old ladies was using mine to call her husband). and he starts messing around with some kind of calculator thing. i'm like "hey... just call 411? do you have a cell phone?" and he ignores me. but i'm talking to him later and he's the regional manager for cingular wireless. asshole. and as i was driving away he was on his cell phone. someone doesn't like giving up his minutes for charity. so liz called the cops instead. and they came. and poor pon. he was the officer. he looked so bored to be dealing with a stupid car crash. oh well.
anyway, so now i'm home and i just ate pizza. and i'm going to go sell some cd's to al, then come home again and maybe fill out that border's application. because i'm going to work there.

michelle branch - sweet misery

sitting here listening to this... it's aweful. i'm getting flashbacks to when i was in long beach, elaina was terribly upset about some boy she'd broken up with. she stuck the song on repeat and lost herself in the internet while i read a book on her bed.
my one experience with heartbreak.. i used our lady peace's story about a girl. i remember crying as i scooped up dog poo with a shovel. if only life stopped when you're miserable, so you could mourn without the daily chores.
these last two weeks have been... undescribable. that word looks so silly for what i'm trying to grasp. i'm not sure how or what happened, but i think i'm becoming a new person.
"in order to be successful, one must portray an image of success at all times.
"loneliness is the human condition."
i've been living my life by those two quotes. act confidant, outgoing, happy.. and it will happen. if it doesn't? tough it up, live with it, not like it matters anyway.
it's hilarious, actually. now that i don't actually care, my life has been more fulfilling than it ever was before.
of course, this always happens over a break. any time i'm not in school, i'm happy. it's the high school atmosphere that's dragging me down. i get into the rut, going through the motions while my only conscious thoughts are focused on my bed.
anyway, since i measure my success in life by the time i spend with other people, i feel like a god. denny's has become a daily stomping ground, william is quick becoming the love of my life, and i've stockpiled on good books and music.
now i just need to start running again. i stopped when school got out.

it reminds me of my day at the beach. 

dave matthews band - the dreaming tree

oh man. since wednesday this whole break has been me, sitting around on painkillers, playing with my blog. i don't think i've showered this much affection on it since... ever. i mean hell, sure i used to put stuff up every day. but several times a day? every day? wow.
but hey, this has been a pretty fun break anyway. lots of staying up late. my mom and i were just doing some girl-bonding downstairs. she couldn't sleep so she was reading articles to me about this huge earthquake in indonesia, 8.9 or something. huge tidal wave. bodies washing up on shore. casualties are piling up. her sleeping pills finally kicked in, i was about to go to bed, but brent woke up so now we're watching american beauty.
i love brent. really, i do. as if i don't tell people that enough. but no, he comes in and lays down in my bed, then says i have to watch this movie with him and i can't go to sleep because he doesn't want to watch it alone. aww.
honestly. next year is going to be amazing. i'll be at his apartment constantly, crashing on his couch. he says if any of his friends try anything with me, he'll cut their balls off. i love it when he does the older protective thing.
today my aunt tammy told me i need to visit my grandpa more. she tried to do it all non-imposingly, since she just married into the family a few years ago. and i don't mind the suggestion at all. i mean, i hear it from my dad's mom all the time. but it was weird, too. because when i suggested that maybe we could visit him together, she got all evasive. i was trying to make her feel more part of the family. and you know, maybe get the chance to bond with one of the chisholm-side relatives. but i guess she wasn't interested in bonding with someone new. she just wanted to tell me to visit the grandpa. sigh... my family is not cool. well, uncle bill is. i wouldn't mind seeing him more often.
mm. so anyway. the reason i posted on this thing (again) is 'cause... ta-da! comments! i figured out how to put 'em up! so go ahead, tuey, comment away! and if anyone else reads this thing.. 'cause honestly, i have no idea who else does... feel free to add something.


look! it's grant!