smashing pumpkins - disarm

here's a quick update:
went to tuey's for christmas dinner yesterday. ended up getting shitfaced and talking to michael on the phone for about 3 hours. don't remember too clearly all i said... hopefully nothing exceptionally embarassing. well, since i get more philosophical than anything else, i probably just rambled for a long while. no harm done, i hope.
this morning, little hungover but nothing that killed me. i haven't actually been feeling very good all day - while we were driving around, at best buy especially, i felt carsick. wandering around best buy was pretty sad, i felt like sitting down and not moving, i was all hot and gross... so i was just kinda dragging my purse around and wandering aimlessly. i bought final fantasy 7 though! (i'm online to find a walkthrough to help me past this one part.)
big surprise, we all went to wendy's. best part was when brandon started cawing at the seagulls, trying to make them go away. then i had to go to a dinner with my grandpa, which wasn't bad. i enjoyed myself, being all dressed up and feeling adult-ish. i chugged about 3 or 4 cups of coffee, black. headache's gone, but still not feeling very good stomach-wise, i've eaten more today than i did all week.
i miss elaina's already, in case you were wondering.
tomorrow i get to clean, and hopefully reorganize my room, if i can get started on it. can't wait for my paycheck on the 5th! i really really really want a playstation 2, and i'm probably going to go out and buy one once i get my paycheck.
other than that, life's good. take care.

phantom planet - california

home again.
list of christmas presents (excluding stuff gotten at school):
whopper-filled plastic candy cane from parents
regular candy cane from parents
$100 from parents
$50 from grandparents
teddy bear from aunt and uncle
telephone/cd player/alarm clock from aunt
socks from aunt, uncle, cousin
manicure kit from mom
headphones from dad
stuffed dog from mom
dancing and singing monkey from kimbrough
family guy season 2 dvd's from william
stalker flyer from william
rollo's from william
arwyn doll from david
nifty wrapping paper from david
"i heart my reputation" sticker from kimbrough
giant gir poster from brent
mst3k "wild world of batwoman" dvd from scott

so many new toys! absolutely no space for any of it! i'm going to have a ball redecorating my room, throwing junk away and finding space for new junk. the rest of the week's going to be a ball!
i miss my cousin. and my friends. i miss what i've left behind.

elaina's pink cd

i actually read a book down here. strange. i thought i'd be too busy doing other things to read, but here i am, done with a book. and it was good! keeping the moon. i forget the name of the author. but it's left me with this huge sense of satisfaction and self-worth. life is good and it's definitely worth living.
last night we went and saw mona lisa smile. at the end of the movie i also had this feeling - a "moment" feeling, though it wasn't actually a moment. but i was just overcome with an urge to dance... and i did, though not for very long and not very wildly. liz wasn't there to dance in the middle of the gym with. elaina was with william, michael had already walked out, and i don't have enough confidance -yet- to bust out dancing in a theater by myself. so i did a little jig and followed the group out.
today we slept in, 13 hours. i feel all groggy from cold medicine, my mind's fuzzy and my eyes are tired, and i sound like i do at 2 am, only it's 3 in the afternoon. but i feel good. very good. this is what i love. long beach is special - it has this effect on me. elaina, so confidant and sure of herself. i was listening to her sing in the shower while i was reading, and she can't sing worth shit. but that's what makes her beautiful. that's what this place is like. people are real here, they don't worry about circles and fitting in and living up to standards. there are no standards. you're just yourself. everyone is exactly what they are. it's... exhilirating. i'd kill for this kind of atmosphere in federal way.
yesterday while we were at william's, all tired and semi-conscious, tysson and matt showed up. it felt so wonderful to see them again, to hug matt and be there, not seperated by the internet or the phone. i doubt i'll see him again for a long time, but i missed him, and i'm glad... so glad i got to see him for those full 20 minutes.

dead silence

ola. i'm at elaina's right now. i'm surprised i found time to blog, but while i was in the shower, everyone passed out in front of the tv. so it doesn't really matter that i ditched them - they're cute while they're sleeping.
so yeah, i'm at elaina's right now. it's all great fun! from the second i saw elaina... well no, i didn't really see her. she ran up behind me and jumped on my back and we had about a 5-minute conversation before i saw anything except a giant blanket. so that gives you an idea of what it's been like since i got here. soon after we got to elaina's, david and william and michael showed up, and that was nifty. we all sat around watching tv and movies and such, and david got us presents - he got me an arwyn doll! i didn't have the heart to tell him i hate arwyn with the deepest passions of my soul, because he at least got lord of the rings right. so we all played with my new barbie for a while, then played battle of the sexes simpsons style. can you believe it? william and david won! elaina and i seriously think they cheated somehow. so, later william left and came back with tony, and we watched more movies, and around 10:30 i started getting really really restless. i called cole, i called tuey, but didn't get to talk to either for much longer than 3 or 4 minutes. the guys took off to get some sleep, and i was even more restless. wandering around, unable to sit and do anything for more than a minute.
so elaina and i went for a walk. we snuck onto private property and sat by the bay and looked at the water and watched the lights of the little towns across the bay and told ghost stories. then the people in the house came out and started searching the yard with flashlights, which scared us, and we hid behind a tree and they didn't find us. after about 2 hours we went back, and got home around 1 am. so we went to bed. and it was nice.
until i got shocked awake by really cold hands pressing against my face. total disorientation. i couldn't figure out what was going on, there were all these dark figures wandering around the dark room... david, william, and michael climbed through elaina's window at 5 am and crawled into bed with us. didn't get much sleep after that though. around... 7:30? elaina's parents got up and were making coffee, so i got up and ate oatmeal and drank coffee, and said not a word about the 3 boys in bed with elaina about 50 feet away. it was funnier that way. especially when, after ed went to work, becky walked down the hall and i heard "get out of my daughter's bed!" heheh. michael and david came running out, and becky continued with the "no william, you can not stay in bed with my daughter." like that made any difference. so more tv watching ensued, and early morning groggy kind of chatting.
and... yeah. other than that, i actually watched the sun rise. unlike federal way, where the sky just gets kind of lighter every few minutes, it actually rises here. it was neat. and the stars... i don't even know where to begin with those. it's beautiful.
and then the internet died, and an hour later i'm once again bored out of my mind. they're all in elaina's room now, michael passed out on the floor, david hiding under a blanket, and william and elaina are just talking and stuff. elaina just came in and called me a stupid bitch wang for leaving them. but i'm going back just as soon as this posts.