michelle branch - sweet misery

sitting here listening to this... it's aweful. i'm getting flashbacks to when i was in long beach, elaina was terribly upset about some boy she'd broken up with. she stuck the song on repeat and lost herself in the internet while i read a book on her bed.
my one experience with heartbreak.. i used our lady peace's story about a girl. i remember crying as i scooped up dog poo with a shovel. if only life stopped when you're miserable, so you could mourn without the daily chores.
these last two weeks have been... undescribable. that word looks so silly for what i'm trying to grasp. i'm not sure how or what happened, but i think i'm becoming a new person.
"in order to be successful, one must portray an image of success at all times.
"loneliness is the human condition."
i've been living my life by those two quotes. act confidant, outgoing, happy.. and it will happen. if it doesn't? tough it up, live with it, not like it matters anyway.
it's hilarious, actually. now that i don't actually care, my life has been more fulfilling than it ever was before.
of course, this always happens over a break. any time i'm not in school, i'm happy. it's the high school atmosphere that's dragging me down. i get into the rut, going through the motions while my only conscious thoughts are focused on my bed.
anyway, since i measure my success in life by the time i spend with other people, i feel like a god. denny's has become a daily stomping ground, william is quick becoming the love of my life, and i've stockpiled on good books and music.
now i just need to start running again. i stopped when school got out.