elaina's pink cd

i actually read a book down here. strange. i thought i'd be too busy doing other things to read, but here i am, done with a book. and it was good! keeping the moon. i forget the name of the author. but it's left me with this huge sense of satisfaction and self-worth. life is good and it's definitely worth living.
last night we went and saw mona lisa smile. at the end of the movie i also had this feeling - a "moment" feeling, though it wasn't actually a moment. but i was just overcome with an urge to dance... and i did, though not for very long and not very wildly. liz wasn't there to dance in the middle of the gym with. elaina was with william, michael had already walked out, and i don't have enough confidance -yet- to bust out dancing in a theater by myself. so i did a little jig and followed the group out.
today we slept in, 13 hours. i feel all groggy from cold medicine, my mind's fuzzy and my eyes are tired, and i sound like i do at 2 am, only it's 3 in the afternoon. but i feel good. very good. this is what i love. long beach is special - it has this effect on me. elaina, so confidant and sure of herself. i was listening to her sing in the shower while i was reading, and she can't sing worth shit. but that's what makes her beautiful. that's what this place is like. people are real here, they don't worry about circles and fitting in and living up to standards. there are no standards. you're just yourself. everyone is exactly what they are. it's... exhilirating. i'd kill for this kind of atmosphere in federal way.
yesterday while we were at william's, all tired and semi-conscious, tysson and matt showed up. it felt so wonderful to see them again, to hug matt and be there, not seperated by the internet or the phone. i doubt i'll see him again for a long time, but i missed him, and i'm glad... so glad i got to see him for those full 20 minutes.