bush - glicerine

at one point while i was talking to my dearest friends, we got to talking about nose piercings. conversation went along the lines of how some look good, some look bad, it depends on what type of nose you have. i mentioned something along the lines of reshaping my nose so i could get a nose pierce and have it look good. later we were talking about how you could become perfect, a little bit, day-by-day... and steph and brenda both mentioned how insecure i am. not in a bad way, just something they'd notice, with how uncomfortable i am with the way i look, and how i want to make all these changes to make myself look different.
it's not just superficial insecurity, though. i'm also afraid to be myself around new people. tuey pointed it out to me, sort of - i don't act around the people in long beach the way i act around brenda and her. i'm a lot quieter, a lot more likely to let everyone else do the talking while i just listen. every time i come back, i notice all these ways i held myself back, and i'm determined not to do that again. but... it's a different situation down there, surrounded by people who i love but don't know, and not a single person i completely, honestly trust, know i can trust because i have a history with them. except elaina, and she's always attached at the hip to her current boyfriend.
anway. i found a story from 8th grade that i wrote, Fred the Friendly Pinguin. i'll probably post it up here later.