i went to youth group tonight.
don't act so surprised. i do this a lot. skip for a month or two, come back, leave again... some days it's just not interesting enough, other days, i crave it like a heroin addict. i'm really glad i went tonight. unsurprisingly, we talked about the war. but... it was neat how we did it. bob had us all just pull the chairs into a "globulous circle", gave us the topic, and had us discuss. i didn't say much, although there were a lot of interesting things people pointed out. right now, though, i can't seem to think of any specifics. i'm too distracted.
it's funny how easily that happens. but, well, that's just how it is i guess. but i'll tell you this, i feel good. i feel better than i have in a long while. i know i've been saying my life's great. i'm not lying. this past year has been incredible, and it's amazing even now how well everything seems to be falling into place.
that topic's gone now, though. brent just came into my room, complaining he was bored, and as always, wouldn't go away. he's nearsighted. funny story how he found it out, but it's one of those thing's that's not funny unless you hear it from him. he was also going on about my "you suck and that's sad" poster, and how he wants one for his image on forums. so i showed him the "you smell like butt" icon sarah sent me, and he left, happy 'n excited like a little kid to try it out.
it's cute, how he almost feels like my little brother. but it also makes me sad. he's going to college next year, to western, which i think is all the way up in bellingham. 3 hours from here! i'm scared that he won't want to talk to me any more. no more chats. he won't be there anymore to bug me until i pay attention to him. i won't have anyone to talk to when i get home from school. no one to watch cartoons with. no one to just be a normal teenager with.
it's really scary. sure, when he's gone, i could just rely on my friends to take his place. but that's the problem. i've never had a choice with brent - he's just there. with my friends, if they bother me or i'm feeling like a loner, i can just shut them out. it's impossible to do that with brent, and that's what i'm going to miss the most. i won't have anyone there forcing a conversation on me anymore.