i don't feel good at all. remind me to never, ever take caffeine pills again.
that's right, ryan finally brought me some! i took four, stupid little me. felt great in english, felt wonderful. got to driver's ed and felt like i'm going to die ever since. my stomach hurts, my head hurts, i'm tired and i feel like i'm going to puke. i can't sleep, i can't eat, and i feel like i'm burning up. water's good, though. anyway, the germans' flight was delayed, so they missed their flight from vancouver. (god, brent just came in, read the first line, and blew up at me about "experimenting" and how some drugs will make me feel good and i'll get hooked. funny. if he only knew... not that i'll ever tell him. he doesn't trust me. he wouldn't believe i'm done.) anyway, germans. we'll be leaving to pick them up in an hour, their flight gets in at 7:45 and we should all be home by 9:30 at the latest. i hope. i'm going, of course, now that i have the chance. forget it if i don't feel good. doesn't matter. i have to go.
besides, i'll be able to get a hug from sam. there's nothing i need more right now than a hug. if only david were here, or ryan. i would cling to them and never let go. but i'll see sam soon, and he'll do just fine. i just need a hug. i need to feel good. ... i miss michael right now, even if it is just because i want to be held. shit. i need my teddy bear now.