i wish there was someone i could talk to honestly. with every person, there are at least some parts of my life that i have to edit out. you might not believe me. but it's true. and there are a few things i wish more than anything that i could talk to someone about, but... i can't. it's complicated. it's so unbelievably complicated.
other than that, i also wish i had someone i could tell useless things to. simple things that make my whole day, but are so pointless or just.. embarassing to admit because someone might get the wrong idea. i used to have friends like that. i wish i knew what happened. i changed, i know that. the things i want to talk about now have lost the little kid innocence and they've... they've grown up. and it's more and more obvious now just how self-centered i would sound if all i ever did was talk about what made me happy. i guess that's why i can't talk to those people like i used to anymore. i know for certain i'd go crazy if i only ever heard about someone else's life. so i can't do that to someone else.
it's just that sometimes, i really wish i could.
oh, and before you tell me to turn to god, please, don't. because i do talk to him, all the time. but it will never be the same as having a living, breathing, flesh-and-blood person sitting in front of me that i can see and touch and hear and get feedback from.
anyway, that's just something that's been bothering me for a while. thought you might like to know.