it's just noise, but i need it

today was good... then bad... but has ended up even better.
school was fine. i actually enjoyed it a lot more than usual, just typical stuff that made my day. after, put some more money in the bank, bought some milk, came home and did homework/read a book. just a nice, relaxing, stress-free day to get stuff done without feeling rushed. and then... well... i was in a good mood, right? and it had been raining and hailing and i was dancing around in that. and i just felt good. so i decided, y'know, disliking my dad every time i see him probably isn't a good thing. maybe i should try to patch things up, my way. (since his way of getting me to like him is being overbearing and crowding my personal space.) so i showed him this little paper that frederick gave us, just some incriminating facts about our current president that make you shake your head with the shame at it all, while at the same time laughing because he was a cheerleader. and... well... wrong thing to do. long story short, he blew up first, i got angry back, yelling match followed by me being shoved around, ending with my mom splitting us up and trying to figure out what happened. i hid in my room for a while, tried my best to ignore my dad when he came in and tried talking to me, called jeff and took off to his house for a couple hours.
and that's where the story turns happy again. i felt like absolute shit and jeff hugged me, held me. we sat in his room and talked, just random stuff, and eventually i actually felt better (which, believe me, i didn't think was possible tonight.) he showed me his puppy and we ate ice cream, listened to music and just... shat around. 'round ten i had to go home. and here i am, home, happy, feeling better than i did all day, though a little sleepy and my eyes are still puffy. (it wasn't even the stressful, tired crying that's silent but bearable. this was angry, sobbing crying that's giving me one of the worst headaches.) but yeah. i felt really dumb running to jeff when i got in a fight. but at the same time, it felt really good. i've never had anyone to turn to when i've felt like this before. and no matter how much i liked benji (my stuffed dog), it's just not quite the same as being able to hang on to jeff and close my eyes and forget why i was upset in the first place.