rancid - bloodclot

went to long beach today. drove all the way there. and when i got there around 11, i couldn't find anyone except elaina, and the bakery was hell-busy. so i couldn't talk to her barely at all. i ended up wandering around for 2 hours, going in stores and blowing bubbles at the beach and just... trying to pass the time. i was almost wishing i hadn't come, when i walked past the bakery and william was sittin on the bench outside with some guy. they'd been waiting for me (i'd been on the beach for the past 45 minutes or so). so i met this other guy, another michael, elaina loves him and he's actually really cool. so we bought a set of beach toys at the local store, a rake, a hoe, and a shovel, and set off for the beach. our attempts at building a sandcastle didn't go very well... i took pictures, you'll see. i guess the waves come in a lot further than we realized.
while we were walking around, william kept getting angry at people who were talking to him and commenting on his hair. but then, that's what he gets for dyeing his hair and eyebrows bright blue.
the drive home was a long one. at first my dad and i got along, then we didn't, then we did, then we didn't. right now it's just tense. what it was, was i was smiling and in a good mood and imagining the time when i would be doing that whole drive by myself, on some 3-day weekend from school or something, and driving home on a sunday afternoon. and my dad started "yelling" at me, although i guess it was more like preaching, about how he doubted i would ever be allowed to do that until i'd graduated from highschool. because the dumbasses in long beach do stupid shit every day and are going to get themselves killed. he lived there for 2 years and figures he knows exactly how it works. okay, i'll admit freely that they're not the brightest people in the world. but they're not the self-destructive dumb either. they're perfectly normal people, ones who i wish to god lived around here and i could see every day. maybe they won't be scientists and ceo's and pilots. but they'll always be the kind of people to turn to with a problem, to go to for support, to spend a day with and end up feeling better than you have in years. they're not bad people, they just don't have the same "opportunities" (expectations) that they'd have if they lived in a larger city.
anyway, so we were arguing about that for a while, as well as how i need to grow up and how he won't be convinced i'm out of this angry youth stage until i stop listening to my trash music. ... asshole... and i was daydreaming about having my own car and he said i was unrealistic and wasn't aware of the world around me. so... yeah.. i was arguing with him the whole time about it, and eventually we both just shut up and i turned up the radio. then there was this ordeal with some merging traffic and i didn't see the truck and my dad started yelling.. you know how he yells... needless to say it didn't help very much and i paniced and just barely made it through okay. and he kept yelling. and i got nervous and shaky, and the yelling didn't help, and i was tired and stressed (still having menstrual cycle from hell) and all around not up to being yelled at. more yelling. the rest of the ride home sucked and now i'm sittin up in my room (no shit) and i think i want to go to the library tonight... but with my mom, not him.