pearl jam - better man
goo goo dolls - acoustic #3

both times in those songs, when it talks about the wife/mother. i get depressed listening to it. i have this horrible, sinking feeling that i'm going to end up like that. "and your mother loves your father 'cause she's got nowhere else to go." "she lies and says she's in love with him, can't find a better man." i would probably feel better if i stopped talking to the people who are "in love" with me. but then i'd feel completely unloved. unlovable. so which feeling is worse? worthless or not good enough?
on the same note, i find myself wishing i was asleep more. dreaming. my dreams the past few nights have been beautiful, happy dreams where i finally have what i want. where i'm worth someone's time. where i don't have to try to make people talk to me.