unsung zeros - pictures

first of all, the song above is sung by one of those high-pitched voice annoying guys. but i still like it. so i guess i just like ear torture or something. but unsung zeros have a lot of really good songs.
anyway, today at work... i won't go into the whole thing, but the lightning and the thunder and the rain were all very beautiful. i sat there and just smiled while the rain fell. i was happy. and at those times people kept asking me if something was wrong. oh well.
it's strange how, when i know i should do something, that i'd be happier and better off if i did it, i purposely go out and do something else.
speaking of that, i noticed today that i've stopped (or at least slowed down) trying to find ways to get myself in trouble. it started while i was walking home today and a saw a really creepy guy, and almost wished i had mace with me. and i thought about how once, when i was talking to scott, he mentioned how he wanted to buy me mace. so i would have some kind of protection when i'm out doing dumb shit. and i realized that since then, i haven't really had an urge to go out and do dumb shit. i've stopped sneaking out of the house. i don't look for friends that will get me in trouble. sure. acting stupid and reckless will always be fun. but when it starts getting out of hand, i'm the one who notices and says 'okay, stop'.
i may be almost who i've always wanted to be. but i've given a lot of things up on the way there. i don't think very well anymore. i'm half-deaf it seems, and i have a hard time understanding what people are trying to say to me. one really happy thought i had today, i was looking through my closet and i was like, hey, i like all these sweatshirts i have! i might actually have enough clothes this year! i think my deafness has to do with the music i listen to. i listen more to the drums and the guitar and the way the words are sung, rather than the actual words. so i hear that someone's talking to me, i just don't bother registering what they said.