brent's bitching again... he watched a little of cky with me and really didn't like it, and now every chance he gets he preaches about dumb people and rot and how horrible the movies are. so... yeah
other than that, today was pretty good. tobias and nick came over for a little bit, then we went driving, then over to nick's. it was kinda cool to sit around nick's room and talk to him for a couple hours, but kinda... weird, too. 'cause tobias left after a little bit and i really don't know nick very well. but i didn't want to go home (of course) and i want to know nick, so i stuck around. and i had fun, but i have no clue how i came across. probably not how i wanted to, but oh well.
so josh is going to fed next year, for sure now. i'm a little sad about it. after all, it's official. all the friends i have a history with are gone. other schools. okay so once i get my license in september it'll be easier. but school... i really don't know how i'm going to deal. sure, i'll have the people i've met this year. but, well, it's still not the same. yesterday, driving around with brandon and tuey. i could stick my head out the window and ignore them until i wanted to yell about the radio. i can tackle tuey out of nowhere and get up and walk away. it's all fine, who cares? today, with nick and tobias... it was like, sure i wanted to do stuff, but i convinced myself not to 'cause i really don't know what they'd do. and well... it's not a good idea to get on the bad side of your ride home.
so i haven't seen ryan since graduation. talked to him on the phone once. i feel bad about that. i should try to fix it. the thing is, i don't have many days off, and then when i do i don't feel like calling him. and when i work, after i don't feel like trying to arrange things, i just want to do something where i won't have to think or be on edge or anything. ... but yeah.