i know, i'm writing a lot tonight. but it's just one of those nights, you know?
i miss long beach so much it hurts. it feels like i want to cry every time i think about all the people i miss. i can't cry, of course, but it's like a lump in my chest that just won't go away.
it's strange how much these people mean to me. when i go to visit my cousin, i'm not really going to see her anymore. yes, i do love my cousin, she's one of my best friends... but she's my cousin, i've always known her, and i know i'll see her again. tysson.. he's joining the air force. he's leaving. july 1, 2003, he'll be gone. he'll be back in november for a couple weeks, but that's it. then he'll be out in iraq for a year. scott's moving back to california, so there goes whatever chance i ever had of getting to know him. matt's joining the air force, too. i don't even know what's happening with william and michael kimbrough. david's down in portland, it's only luck that he's been around when i go down there. i know everyone's growing up and moving on, but i just met these people! i'm not ready to let go yet.
they mean so much to me. i'd do anything for them, and they know it too. they can cheer me up no matter how bad i feel, and vice versa. i save almost every conversation i have with tysson or david, or at least parts of it. i don't even have to save the ones with matt; i don't need words to remind me that he loves me.
i miss them all so much. it's torture not being able to see them when i want to.