lucky boys confusion - hey driver

oops, forgot to write anything yesterday, even though i sat at this very computer for an hour or two and thought about it, but put it off for 'later'. we didn't have school yesterday! and we don't today either. yesterday i ran around with evan, aaron, derek, and josh for a long while. oh, and michael too. and it was fun. we sledded down the big ass hill by my house, then played football in the snow. -that- was fun. lots of good stuff going on, since it was tackle. the fun times with old friends died, though, when liz and brandon came to find me and josh locked me out of his house. bastard. so i went back to brandon's and we played in the snow with luke and tuey and tommy. we sledded down hills and had lots of good fun. while we were playing in the street, jeff and sean showed up, so they joined us. liz and i made a giant snowman, taller than tommy. then there was a big ol' snowball fight and the snowman got murdered in the middle of it. sean, jeff, and tommy left. we went inside and made a pizza and were about to watch memento, but brandon's dad had to drive liz 'n me home before it got too icy. it almost was too icy, actually, since going down the kinda-okay hill by aaron's, the truck lost traction and we skid down most of it. scary, but exhilirating. anyway, after all that, i sat around and sorta read my book for school and mostly played video games, and konked out around midnight.
i had some really weird dreams last night, involving elaina and my grandma and some huge extended family that i don't have, and colleges and a snow storm and elaina and i watched a little cessna airplane crash. then there was something about driving up a narrow tropical mountain road in a truck with a bunch of guys i knew, but now that i'm awake, i have no idea who they were supposed to be.
so i woke up and i ache all over, but it's the good ache, like yesterday i did something worthwhile. and i did. so far today i've gotten two calls from liz's parents asking if she's over here, which she's not, and hasn't been. this tends to happen so whatever, no biggie. eventually i guess i'll get up and take a shower, but mostly all i'm going to do is play more video games, maybe do homework, and if possible, go out and get some hot cocoa mix.
also, as i've been writing this, i had a pretty cool conversation with ryan. i'd like to post it up here. it might help all of you, but it'll mostly be here for me, so i can look back later and remember this mood i'm in right now, and remind myself what it's like. see, i say a lot of things. and for the moment, i do mean it. but later, my mood might change, or anything really, and i'll feel differently. so... hopefully i'll be able to remember this.

missinglunchbox: awesome... don't you love these days?
missinglunchbox: like, you know something better is coming
Mr Hamburglar86: what days...snow days?
missinglunchbox: but for now, life's pretty okay
Mr Hamburglar86: yes...yes it is
Mr Hamburglar86: you know what...i think i am finally back to being good ol' me in 8th grade...^_^
missinglunchbox: awesome!
missinglunchbox: and you like that?
Mr Hamburglar86: yes...yes
Mr Hamburglar86: well...i am still my mature, philisophical self...but i am happy and content as i remember i was in 8th grade
missinglunchbox: that's even better, then.
Mr Hamburglar86: i guess it is
Mr Hamburglar86: so...are you happy as can be?
missinglunchbox: not as happy as can be.
missinglunchbox: but not unhappy.
Mr Hamburglar86: aye
Mr Hamburglar86: so...just...there?
missinglunchbox: yeah
missinglunchbox: it's like..
missinglunchbox: the extreme happiness that i'm lacking
missinglunchbox: i can't do anything about that
missinglunchbox: it's the kind of happiness that just happens, and when it's not there, all you can do is keep living, keep enjoying, and wait for something to bring it back
Mr Hamburglar86: true...very true
Mr Hamburglar86: do you have any idea as to what would get you extreme happiness?
Mr Hamburglar86: or is that blank?
missinglunchbox: that's blank.
Mr Hamburglar86: aye...i see
missinglunchbox: like i said. it just happens
missinglunchbox: you can't make it happen, it's just something, or someone, that you notice one day.
Mr Hamburglar86: well...would you be happier if you were in Long beach or something
missinglunchbox: possibly.
missinglunchbox: but even elaina's gets old
missinglunchbox: i get restless there too.
Mr Hamburglar86: i read in your blog that being there with those people brought back great memories and extreme joy to you
Mr Hamburglar86: ahhh
Mr Hamburglar86: restless isnt always good
missinglunchbox: we went on a walk from midnight to 2 am because i couldn't sit still, i was bored, i had to do something
missinglunchbox: i like it actually
Mr Hamburglar86: thats good
missinglunchbox: i mean, there are so many things to be, besides happy.
missinglunchbox: right now i'm content and satisfied. in a few hours from now, i might be restless and anxious. or tired. or angry.
missinglunchbox: emotions don't even last a whole dya
missinglunchbox: day
missinglunchbox: that extreme happiness i was talking about.
missinglunchbox: it doesn't last. neither does anger. neither does depression.
missinglunchbox: i just live through it all and take it as it goes.
Mr Hamburglar86: man...you're too smart...hahaha
Mr Hamburglar86: i guess i havent thought of it that way before
missinglunchbox: nah. i'm just good at talking out my ass.
Mr Hamburglar86: hahaha
Mr Hamburglar86: *sniffs*...yup...deffinately out your ass
missinglunchbox: lol
missinglunchbox: chelseashit. not bullshit.
Mr Hamburglar86: hahaha
Mr Hamburglar86: Chelsishit
Mr Hamburglar86: i like that
missinglunchbox: yup! it's my own personal brand of shit.
Mr Hamburglar86: thats great
missinglunchbox: selling at 25 bucks a bag, special holiday discount!
Mr Hamburglar86: i wish i had some Chelsishit...
Mr Hamburglar86: YAY!
Mr Hamburglar86: i'll take 2