fuel - hemorrhage

updato.
fortunately i'm not yet old/mature enough to really, really think about things. i'll touch on a subject and move on before i can get too in depth about it, think too much about it. the stuff i do come up with? usually when i'm talking to people, i'll just say something and go with it, without really considering what i really, truly think, or if what i'm saying even makes sense in different situations.
i guess ultimatums don't ever work, but oh well.
see, i was going to write something entirely different up here, about how i'm constantly changing my mind, my opinions. how i can't even be happy with the same music for more than a little while at a time. how i'm always looking for new friends, the next best thing, something new to do with myself. i can't ever be happy with what i have. i do love my friends, my real friends. the ones i honestly chose to keep, to hold onto, to be with. it's the ones that i don't really have a choice about, that i have a problem with. the friends of friends, the people who are just part of the group. the people who i've known for too long to abandon. the people who just won't leave me alone. that's why i'm always complaining about finding new friends. STEPHANIE! for the LAST time, when i say "i need new friends" THIS DOES NOT APPLY TO YOU. sheesh. i'm referring to everyone else. cheesy grin here kids, i'm kidding. i just haven't yet found the perfect people. of course, there's no such thing. if other people can't force their friends on me and we all live happily ever after, then how can i expect to find the right group for me, and make everyone else get along?
oh oh! i've been craving cocoa like a heroin addict for days now. and with the roads all icy and stuff, and me not showering or anything, it's really not worth it to go out in public and bother with the grocery store and all just for one stupid bucket of cocoa mix. BUT! i found ghirardelli's sweetened cocoa powder, for baking and for DRINKING! so i've been drinking cocoa like a fiend all day. half milk, half super-hot water, and 2.5 tablespoons of the FINEST cocoa powder around. yumm!