ugh. once again, i lost what i was writing. something about needing sleep, and something else.
but also, i had a moment today. first of all, everything leading up to this moment had been great. i'd met up with them (tuey, brandon, doug, liz) at the mall, yelled with the guy working at zumiez, got a dollar from some random guy, ate at mcdonalds, talked to rainier, drove around, ate tuey's food, drank soda, passed out on the couch... all sorts of just random things. so i was standing in her kitchen, talking to tuey, and chewing on ice (doug says people who eat ice are usually subconsciously expressing sexual frustration... i eat ice all the time..) we'd been hashing out my life as of recently, when we looked out the window and saw brandon jumping around on her trampoline. he almost fell, then started talking to his self, and started picking at things on the trampoline... i don't know, it was just unbelievably funny for us, and we started cracking up and falling all over the place. and i paused for a second. it was just... this moment, when i realized, this is what i've wanted. all these years, ever since i was a little kid and looked up to older people as having the cool life. this is what i've been imagining. i don't need tons of new people in my life. i just need people i like. today was all about good friends and good fun and messing around and enjoying ourselves and not putting any kind of strain on ourselves to be something else. we just did our own thing. tuey and i, talking about my life in the kitchen. liz off doing god knows what in the family room. brandon out on the trampoline by himself. doug... i don't know, i don't think he really fit into it all, but still. it worked. so, i'm just in this wonderfully great mood lately. even when it all sucks, life is still good. i've got friends when i need them. i've got a life. i've got money. i've got guys interested in me (haha... yeah, you knew that was coming didn't you?). i don't feel like the whole world's playing a joke on me anymore. i feel... normal. and it's nice.