it's not going anywhere. sometimes i think i should just give up and let it go. but i already let too many things slide. i've missed out so much just because i didn't make the effort. i don't want that. i just don't know if it's worth working hard for, when there's practically nothing to give me confidance. there's nothing! nothing hinting that it could work. nothing implying that if i tried, i'd get something back. nothing.
it drives me crazy. i hate being an emotional wreck.
to give you all an idea of how i feel, listen to these song lyrics: "i've got the world up my ass."