allister - somewhere on fullerton

i pulled out my warped tour cds today, and finally remembered why i ever got into punk music in the first place. it wasn't about the talent or the "cool" thing to do. i'll even admit that the bands i liked the most off that cd aren't the hardcore ones, but the sappy ones. because they made me feel happy. and they made me feel good again today. i'm feeling less serious about finding sophisticated music, artsy music and music that can stand up to criticism. why listen to intelligent stuff when there's some cheap crap out there that makes you want to smile and dance for no good reason?
the other day, as i was walking down the stairs, scott came up and tried to scare me. i didn't react, just looked at him and kept walking. he said to me, "chelsea, you haven't been any fun since you started being serious." and he's right. i've been noticing it since the sun came out again, since i started caring less about school and work and looking forward to talking to people again. i haven't been excited about anything all year. i've been listless and stressed and generally unhappy. and i haven't been any fun. but in the past week alone i've felt it all slowly dripping away. it's the sun, too, i know it. this is why i need to go to college some place warm. summer has always been my favorite time of year, not just because of the no school thing. i love the warmth. being outside and feeling the heat soaking into my skin. even when i'm hot and sweaty from the humidity, i love it. the warmth just obsorbs into my skin and sinks into every part where i've been unhappy or lonely, melts it away and just makes life feel good. i feel good about myself and less critical of the people around me. i'm more willing to try new things, meet new people. not willing, really. i've always been willing. but i really want to now, and i go to an effort to do it. i love this feeling. i love this time of year and all the hopes and expectations that are building up.
i took a nap today. it was the best nap i've ever had.
some people from work got together and went out to red robin tonight. ben drank down his lemonades faster than the waiter could supply them - finally he just left a stack for ben to work on. ryan got the whole group of us to clap and sing with the staff every time they clapped or sang at another table. poor brooke was bent over the whole night in pain from wakeboarding and sunburn. amy didn't bother changing out of her swimsuit, just wrapped a sarong around her waist and was good to go. it was wonderful, even if i did miss out on the mini golf later.