nothing at all, for once

so i got grounded on monday. and it's actually pretty funny. because what do i care? it's not like i have much of a life anyway. oh, sure, it kinda sucks that i won't be able to see jeff. but really! i haven't really noticed. monday i just went to the library and stocked up on books. tuesday i went to school, work, and babysat, and didn't come home until 10:30, and then went straight to bed. today i hung around a little after school, then stopped by work to talk to irene, went shopping, bank... just random chore-ish stuff, and now i'm reading again. i haven't noticed these supposed restrictions at all, unless not being able to see anna monday night counts. and it doesn't, since my parents are already letting me go shopping with her on friday.
do you know how they've grounded me? (well, no, that was a dumb question.) but they've decided i'm grounded on a situational basis. if they feel like letting me go, i'm not grounded. if they don't, i am. so if they have a crappy day at work, i'm stuck. if it's a good day, i'm free. it's funny, and at the same time i'm a little cautious. i'm wondering how this might effect how much i see different people.
today was a good day, though. it really was. i just feel a little cut off from the world. it seems like the more this school year goes on, the more i feel left out. mostly, i suspect, because things aren't changing. i'm not seeing steph or brandon or liz anymore. i spend most of my time doing productive stuff, like work or babysitting or grocery shopping or running errands or cleaning or homework. i rarely seem to just.. hang out, anymore. what happened to the summer? what happened to me? i'm not happy anymore. there are moments, but most of the time, i feel dead inside. i hate it. i wish i could just wake up and be grinning and cheerful again, and have friends and enjoy myself. but it's not happening.