rise against, burnt copy from the cool receptionist

of course, as soon as one thing changes, everything else does, too. i don't feel guilty, i feel happy, like some giant weight's been taken off my chest, and i don't smile because i have to anymore, i smile because i want to. and because of this, because i don't feel saddened or anything, i feel guilty, or at least like i should be guilty. that's always been a problem of mine... i can't stand causing another person pain, and it kills me to know what's happening. the worst part is that it's my fault, and there's nothing i can do to fix it.
anyway, we dissected hubert the rat today. at least, we got started skinning him and such. drained his juices. i've decided i'm going to try my damndest to get out of marketing second semester, though hopefully i can still keep third lunch... yeah, that'd be nice. work was easy easy easy, but unfortunately, it won't always be that way. they're going to work me dead the first two weeks of december, seriously. look at this schedule! saturday 7-3, sunday 8-5, monday 3-6, tuesday 3-6, thursday 3-6. what do they think i am, superwoman? or maybe that i love my job and enjoy every minute spent cleaning a stupid pool? ugh. must quit.
anyway, i've found out some interesting news today. scott's moving back in. i'm... well, i'm not too sure how to react. my freedom, which i have so much enjoyed and loved and cherished these days... my independance, that feeling like i'm in complete control... it's gone now. or at least it will be soon. i mean i'm empathetic toward scott, i want the best for him, i just wish... well, like jeff, i wish everyone could be happy, i could get what i want, and what the other person wants wouldn't conflict with that.